79 : If Someone Makes You Dim Your Light, They're Not Your Person

💫Episode 79 : If Someone Makes You Dim Your Light, They're Not Your Person

"I know the comments that were made to me were not a reflection of me, but of how they felt. It is okay to walk away and not compromise yourself for someone else's comfort. It is okay to walk away with love and compassion for them — and most importantly, for yourself."

This episode asks for nothing from you except that you receive it. No framework to learn, no technique to practice. Just one woman returning after 30 days away, telling the truth about where she's been — and reminding you, through her own healing, that you are allowed to do the same.

Welcome back to Collective Guidance. Charla is here.

What Happened

On June 5th, everything shifted. A two-year relationship — one Charla had genuinely believed had long-term potential — came to an abrupt end.

She doesn't dwell on the details. What she shares is this: words were said that cut deep. Not just the ending, but the how of the ending. And in the aftermath, she did what she needed to do: she withdrew. She went within. She became the hermit, communing with spirit, sitting with the grief, letting the wound breathe.

For 30 days, she didn't show up fully to the podcast. And she opens this episode by taking accountability for that — not with self-punishment, but with the same compassion she consistently asks us to offer ourselves.

"I give myself compassion and grace because for the last 30 days I've been going through a massive transition."

That is not an excuse. That is a human being honoring what they needed. And then returning.

The Pattern She Finally Named — And Released

This wasn't the first time a relationship ended because of Charla's spirituality. Not the first time a partner struggled with the tarot cards on every surface, the Palo Santo, the bowl singing, the Abraham Hicks cruises she took her kids on when they were small. Not the first time someone asked her to dim that light in certain rooms, around certain people, because it made them uncomfortable.

In a three-year relationship before this one, she agreed to that request. She toned it down. She quieted herself to keep the peace. And she lost herself so completely that it took two years to come back after that relationship ended.

She made a vow after that: never again.

She would not compromise her spirituality — not for a relationship, not for anyone's comfort, not for the promise of love that required her to be less than who she is. If that meant being alone, she was at peace with that. Because she knows who will be there at the end: herself. Her soul. The mission she came here to fulfill.

"When it's all said and done, when I die, I'm gonna be the person that is there with me. My soul came here to do the work."

And now, 30 days after this latest ending, she can say something remarkable: this pattern is over. She has cut the cord. She has cleared the energy. She does not say this with bitterness. She says it with the calm certainty of someone who has done the actual work — and can feel the difference in her body.

He Was Divinely Placed — Until He Wasn't

Here is where Charla's spiritual integrity becomes most visible. Even in the middle of her own heartbreak, she doesn't make the other person a villain.

Spirit placed this man next to her at a Joe Dispenza retreat in Cancun in February 2024. Not once — repeatedly. Day after day, he came back to sit beside her. She had been meditating for months asking to be brought the person for her highest good. She received him.

He was her person — until he wasn't.

"I'm not mad. I'm not upset. He's not a bad person. He's just no longer my person."

She sends him divine love and light. She genuinely hopes he finds someone more vibrationally aligned with who he is. And she trusts — not naively, but with 20 years of evidence — that what comes next will be even more aligned for her.

She uses a metaphor that is very Charla: gluten-free chocolate cake. Each relationship is like baking that cake. Sometimes you miss an ingredient. When they leave, you get to refine the recipe. The next version is better — more aligned, more delicious, more exactly right.

"I know something even better is coming. How do I know? Because it's proved it to me over and over and over."

What She Did to Move Through It

For anyone in the middle of grief, loss, or a painful ending, Charla shares the one practice that has carried her most in these 30 days: automatic writing.

Not journaling in the traditional sense — not structured reflection or gratitude lists. But allowing the soul to speak. Letting the ego say what it needs to say. Getting it all out onto the page without editing, without judgment, without trying to make it sound a certain way.

And then she does something remarkable: she reads us one of those writings.

It arrived from a hike alone. A body moving through nature. A soul in the process of releasing and remembering at the same time.

The Writing — A Soul Speaking

"I hear you calling out, 'Look at me,' but the shadow is all I see. I hear the birds chirping, the cool ocean air. The green is all that surrounds me. Peace within is in the air.

Abundance surrounds us if you stop looking in the rear. Your point of view and your frequency to it is all that matters. Realities can change minute to minute, hour to hour.

The sun and the moon will still rise and set. We always have guidance. We just have not allowed them yet.

We are all a route reminding the others how to grow, to flourish, all part of the ecosystem as we know it.

Loving and accepting the human, and you, the dark and the light, the shadow and the bright. Spin them out. Laugh. Write daily again and again.

Your regrets, let them go. They were lessons, information you now know. The question is: will you learn the lesson or repeat the past?

It's never who you were. It's how you grow. It's how you grow."

What This Episode Is Really Saying

If you are in the middle of an ending right now — a relationship, a friendship, a chapter of your life — Charla wants you to hear this:

It is okay to hurt. It is okay to retreat and go within. It is okay to become the hermit for a season. Grief is not weakness. Withdrawal is not failure.

It is okay to cut the cord. Release the energy. Clear the pattern. And do it with love — for them, and for yourself.

You are not your past. Every relationship that ended, every job that closed, every version of yourself that you've outgrown — none of that defines you. What defines you is how you grow through it. What you learn. What you refuse to repeat. What you carry forward.

The universe is conspiring for your highest good. Always. Even now. Especially now.

Keep praying. Keep talking to spirit. Keep asking to be guided toward what is most aligned. And release — with as much grace as you can — everything that is not yours to carry anymore.

It's never who you were. It's how you grow.

✨ If this message resonates with you, please share this post with a friend, subscribe to the Collective Guidance podcast, and join me on Instagram @charligirl7 or @collectiveguidancepodcast . Let’s create a world where sensitivity is celebrated.

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Sending love, remembrance, faith, and creativity,